Three years ago, Isaac and I were celebrating our third anniversary. It had been a whirlwind so far, with Isaac finishing college, me having a honeymoon baby, then having a 'surprise' second baby. We had moved five times, ending up in a nice little rental house close to my family and Isaac's new job.
I set three goals at that time. I was determined that the next three years would be tranquil. My goals were that we would celebrate our sixth anniversary with the same number of kids (2), live in the same house, and Isaac would have the same job.
As of Monday, we have failed at every one of those goals.
I remember feeling, as I proclaimed these goals, that I might be sealing some sort of fate for us. Like I was inadvertently rousing some demon to cause the opposite to happen. Failing the first two goals was really more like winning, though. Our baby girl has brightened our family immensely, and we love our big beautiful house in The Dalles.
As for Isaac losing his job, I feel strangely optimistic. Like it's an adventure. Perhaps we were getting too comfortable, too laxidasical in our middle-class lifestyle. It's time to shake things up, test our mettle. This is all easy to say, when it's only been three days and I haven't yet seen what the COBRA premium will be.
The moral of this story is, don't set goals. Not really. Keep setting goals, even big ones for the distant future. That way you won't be surprised, whether you achieve the goal or the opposite. And summoning demons is fun.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Children of a future Tyrant
General Conference was a wonderful reminder last weekend. My spirit is feeling stronger, and I feel more motivation to crack open the scriptures or to sit down at the piano for a few hymns. I want to learn how to remember that I am loved. It doesn't come naturally for me.
My baby is walking all over the world now. She ran away from me in a store and hid. She rides on a little toddler riding toy outside. She attacks my legs. She walks this way and that, all around the house with something cute to do. Pretty baby girl with a baby monster side.
D, the 3-year-old, has been having serious insecurity issues for months now. It starts in the morning, crying and unrealistic demands and his parents just want to sleep safe from the world. I hug him a lot, tell him I love him a lot, praise him a lot, and discipline him consistently. Eventually, this should work on him.
A is being an easy child. He draws his pictures, plays out his explosives and super hero fights, and asks to play computer games. Isaac told someone that he wants A to grow up to be a gamer, and I screamed in anguish.
I would rather my babies grow up to be cowboys than stunt their progress completely with video games. I may very well disown a child who tells me they want to make video games for a career. I hope that this is the only instance in which i can be called a tyrannical mother.
My baby is walking all over the world now. She ran away from me in a store and hid. She rides on a little toddler riding toy outside. She attacks my legs. She walks this way and that, all around the house with something cute to do. Pretty baby girl with a baby monster side.
D, the 3-year-old, has been having serious insecurity issues for months now. It starts in the morning, crying and unrealistic demands and his parents just want to sleep safe from the world. I hug him a lot, tell him I love him a lot, praise him a lot, and discipline him consistently. Eventually, this should work on him.
A is being an easy child. He draws his pictures, plays out his explosives and super hero fights, and asks to play computer games. Isaac told someone that he wants A to grow up to be a gamer, and I screamed in anguish.
I would rather my babies grow up to be cowboys than stunt their progress completely with video games. I may very well disown a child who tells me they want to make video games for a career. I hope that this is the only instance in which i can be called a tyrannical mother.
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